Tipping my hat and heart to those whose live’s woulda changed had they been given the opportunity, to those who died and shoulda lived a lot longer, and to those who did not prosper when they coulda, but life and the stock market kicked them in the head instead.
So many decisions I make are made on the spur of the moment; I always go for the gut reaction. The only thing I analyze are the people around me and why they do the things they do. Sometimes I move through this life without thinking, and I don’t know if its hurt me or hindered me.
I appreciate all that I’ve been given, but a lot of what I do have I worked my ass off to get. Nothing has ever been handed to me, and I don’t anticipate that happening anytime soon, unless I win the lottery.
I’m healthy, my husband loves me and my children are happy. Now that they are grown, they all sound the same on the phone. I don’t recognize who it is until they start talking about their day. My grandkids are loved by people that cherish them as much as I do. That’s the best that I could possibly hope for. The monetary success, the recognition of their peers, is expected, but realistically thinking, will come later.
So for me, although I lost a few friends both in death and deceptions, and made new ones in renewal and in response to an outreached hand, 2009 has been as confusing as the rest of years past. I think I finally understand what Charles Dickens was writing about when he began his tome on life in general:
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.”